in quiet moments of solitude do you ever freak yourself out? do you let your mind roam free into the shadows of its own existence, wander around inside of itself, let it see what hides in its dark corners and allyways?
when you think about your tomorrows and tomorrows, do you like you what you see or do you wish those tomorrows would never come?
i often wonder what is wrong with me.
i have a good life. but i want so much i cannot have and it eats me alive.
sometimes i know a change needs to be made, but because i don't think it should have to be made i refuse to do it and then cry when things don't get better. every day of my life i slip into fantasy just to get by. i'm a genius and a retard at the same time. i get uglier with each passing moment. i let myself down everyday, but i surprise myself by how much shit i can endure. i throw up too often. i get scared, really scared.
