Deadeye Dick

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Tonight's post is dedicated to elevator etiquette.

I work on the 8th floor of a twelve story building. There are six elevators that go up and down, up and down all day. However, the number of elevators actually needed would be more like 10. There is always a bottleneck with twenty or thirty people waiting on the ground floor for a ride.

Here are the things that make me want to punch my co-workers:

1. When I'm standing next to an elevator entrance when it comes down, and fifteen people shove me aside in order to get on.

2. When I'm on the elevator coming down, it reaches the ground floor, and when the doors open a mass of people are crowded around the open doors so not only can I not get off the elevator, they start coming on with me still in it.

3. When I'm the only one waiting for an elevator, I push the "up" button, and wait. Someone else comes up and pushes the "up" button again - or even worse, holds the button.

4. I get on the elevator on the 8th floor, going down. I press the button for the ground floor. On the way down, it stops at the 6th floor. Someone gets on and presses the ground floor button again, even though it's already lit up.

5. Several people are on the elevator. It stops and people get out. As they are leaving, someone presses the "close door" button. Can't you fucking wait the 1.2 seconds it will take for the doors to close on their own?

and 6. If you're only going up one floor or down one floor, use the fucking stairs you fuckin' pussy!

Sorry for the rant. I've been holding that in a long time. I feel better now.

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