March 2004 Archives

motherfucker do i ever have the nervous jitters tonight. it feels like tectonic plates are moving and shifting inside my body, it feels mount st. helens in my head. the whole side of my face is going to blow off any second now and devastate the world around me with layers of frustration and disgust.

Yep, that's Kris gracing the cover of this book. How strange!

I repeat myself.

I have to. Nobody hears me the first time around.

It might have been two years ago now that a tiny seed was planted. It remained dormant until two months ago. And then I planted a seed in Kris' brain.

My seed waited until conditions were right. I am much less apt to spontaneity. Once I comprehended what it would take to be consistent, true, and free, the seed started to take root.

Kris' seed found fertile soil almost immediately.

And so we must now shine light, give water, tend to the dream. If we do, we'll see the bloom on this perennial yet.

Live free or die.

i can't say my weekend was fun, or interesting, or worthwhile.

what i can say about my weekend is this: it's not over.

so what can i do with the next two days besides download pr0n and not eat?

any suggestions?

As of tonight, no more "comments" on my blog.

The last several weeks I've been spammed pretty hard by a penis-enlargement bot. Each time it happened I would have to go through the somewhat time-consuming task of deleting each message individually. This spurred me to wonder: what is the ultimate solution to this problem?

I very nearly decided to intall TypeKey here. Doubtless, it would have solved the problem.

What would the point be of installing software to prevent the spam just to protect my one little comment each month (At best!) ? Better to go with the much easier solution and just shut off comments altogether.

I always wished more people would have reactions to this site. But they didn't. And now they never will.

Is that not fucking cool?

Try it yourself if you don't believe me!

I went to Fefe Dobson's homepage looking for the live performance video of "Everything" in Manchester, England. Clicked once and found it here.

Then I went to a fansite to browse around a bit to see what was new. Ventured into the forums, and found a link to this Canadian page. Holy Smokes! It has video from nearly every appearance you could think of. I'm going to go back there now and watch every one of them like ten times.

to the extreme i rock a mic like a vandal...

grand self-indulgence and determined patience. take everything, don't even look. serious, goofy. intensity, calmness. work and sleep, sleep and no sleep.

passed out tonight at 12:30, slept three hours and woke up feeling great. it's 4:30 now and i need need need to go back to sleep. tomorrow i go back to hell for as long as possible and i'll need my strength.

is it enough to want it? cause i want it. i leave it alone but i want it.
do i get points for the desire?

Well, the Mist blew us off last night, but all turned out fine anyway.

We saw Dawn of the Dead with Allison and Daniel and then caught some din-din at Denny's. Dawn of the Dead is FUCKING AWESOME.

I've spent the majority of today redesigning my master style sheet and tweaking code to give you this glorious new look to egocentricity. The site be stylin!

I'll check in with you dudes later. See ya.

Here, for the first time ever, do we have official documentation!
Notice the words -->> interior designer.

A long, blah day this has been.

Everything is okay, everything is fine. I just find myself extremely sad.

Misty is coming over tomorrow. It will be her first time here, at least for a long time. I guess we'll hang out and order pizza since none of us has any money. Still, it should be fun. Maybe that will make me feel better.

You know what I'd like right now? I'd like to get a nice little surprise.

Can anyone surprise me?

Friends, this whole thing is nearly finished. It can be seen in headlines across the country each day. It can be heard in each ignorant word spoken by your co-workers, friends, neighbors. Have you watched any TV today? Listened to a talk-radio show? Did you notice the clues?

Perhaps you should start paying attention.

PAY ATTENTION!

Remove your head from your ass so you can take one last glimpse of this place.

That fits perfectly. Thanks Scott and John.

who are you into right now?

i like lots of people right now.

any of them worth listening to?

of course.

what about you?

oh, i'm worth listening to.

"If you listen to the band's catalog, you might say there are a few recurring themes found in our songs: beer, gin and tonic, whiskey, cocaine, tequila, martinis, marijuana, cigarettes, cars, more beer, pretty women, sermons, cats and dogs, the devil, Texas, and Jimbo. Not to mention steak and dildos. All the good things in life."

These are the words of the good Reverend himself, and even I couldn't have said it better.

We were lucky enough to be able to catch RevHo on one of the very early dates of their current tour at the Phoenix Hill Tavern. It was my fourth time, Kris' second. I've been with these guys since '94, and I basically worship them. In fact, there was a classic moment when my wife and I were "dating": we were out driving to be driving out near...Borden, Indiana?...and I popped in a Rev CD and cranked up Wigglestick. When she started jammin' on it and wanted to know who these Great Purveyors of The Rock were, I knew I'd met The One.

It was a long, sweaty, and multi-orgasmal love-making session. We got all we'd expected and even far more. The guys took it to a higer level. Just freakin' amazing. They even tossed in "Where In The Hell Did You Go With My Toothbrush" for good measure.

They are also road-testing some new songs from their upcoming release on Yep Roc Records. If the new ones were any indication, the new disc will harken back to the days of The Full Custom Gospel Sounds... and I might mention that is a welcome return to the glory days.

Two bonuses:

I met the guys after the last show at the Brewery. They are the most ultra-cool, friendly, down-to-earth guys you could ever meet. This time, I got to talk to Jimbo before the show (thanks to Kris!). He was hanging out in the crowd, watching the opening band - The Legendary Shack Shakers. Kiss my ass and call me Big Daddy!

That opening band - wow. Wow. If you like the RHH, you'll love these guys. I will be buying their CD soon. Holy Smokes!

I've had to take the rather drastic step of banning several IPs over the last few weeks. Sad. Very sad. Pathetic spammers.

I even had to ban some IPs from my workplace, albeit for different reasons.

So, how have you been? Long time, no blog. Everything ok?

Have you ever starting talking about something you haven't even thought about for years and years and years? And the more you talk, the more you remember, and the more you're amazed about the all the stuff that is stored there in your brain but that until that very moment you'd forgotten all about? That happened to me last night. After I was done yammering, I realized that everything I'd just talked about hadn't been thought about since it happened. And that was twenty years ago!! How can entire blocks of memory get archived like that? And then all come back to you when you least expect it and still play like a movie in your head, like it just happened yesterday?

By the way, welcome back, GS. Nice diorama!

Catch up time...

Of course, Saturday morning I worked. Could it be any other way?
The afternoon was spent on a nap and some cleaning. Much needed on both counts.

Saturday night it was Kris, Heather, Allison and me (who's the pimp?). First out to Air Devil's Inn, where chillin' ensued. Got to meet Mr. Child Molester Person. Listened to a pretty decent blues/zydeco band. Nothin' to call home about.

Next, we were all introduced to world of Trailer Trash Karaoke at Ro Joe's. Kris signed up in the contest. She did a spot-on rendition of Bring on the Rain. We all cheered, and secretly I thought she might have a chance to win. No luck. She lost to Billy Ray Cyrus.

Heather took Allison home, then came back out to pick us up. No moonlight stroll!

Sunday we bought food. Ummm, food.
I was waiting for Jason, who blew me off again and for the last time.
I became GROUCHY.
Allison came over.
Kris did homework.
We all played Trivial Pursuit.
Al left.
I did laundry.

Last night I fired up the greatest P2P app in history and nabbed the latest Macromedia Suite. Oh...Yes...SWEET!! So tonight I upgraded my system to MX 2004 across the board. Tomorrow I'll see what damage I can do with it.

Also tonight I fired up the ole email and sent out letters to a bunch of folks. Hello people, remember me?

So, all in all, pretty productive stuff.
Now, if I could just find a different job, I'd be all set.

I spend a fair amount of time each day browsing headlines, reading news stories, following political blogs, checking out editorials and the like. So, I feel as qualified as anyone to say the following things:

1. There are a thousand schools of thought on all things political and economic, and these subjects have been tinkered with down to the minutest of minutia. There is endless - ENDLESS! - argument as to which is correct. This system would break down under this condition, that system doesn't account for this other bullshit, this system is immoral, that system has been proven ineffective...blah blah blah.

2. Each person associated with each system of thought believes he is The Smartest Person Who Has Ever Lived. Condescension is omnipresent.

3. If the mental energy wasted debating these things could somehow be harnessed and applied to actual problems, there would no longer be any problems.

Granted, I am a certified low-level genius with an IQ of 147, so it took me only about ten minutes to unravel this mess. However, I'm sure that given an hour or so most non-retarded people could reach the same conclusions I have.

So what's the fucking hold up?

My opinions are these:

- nobody wants to admit they are wrong
- nobody wants to actually solve problems, they just want to be in control

What to do? What to do?

Blow your brains out now because it's only going to get worse.

(thanks, FA...)

You moved like honey in my dream last night
Yeah, some old fires were burning
You came near to me and you endeared to me
But you couldn't quite discern me

Does that scare you? I'll let you run away
But your heart will not oblige you
You'll remember me like a melody
Yeah, I'll haunt the world inside you

And my big secret -- Gonna win you over
Slow like honey, heavy with mood

I'll let you see me, I'll covet your regard
I'll invade your demeanor
And you'll yield to me like a scent in the breeze
And you'll wonder what it is about me

It's my big secret -- Keeping you coming
slow like honey, heavy with mood

Though dreams can be deceiving
Like faces are to hearts
They serve for sweet relieving
When fantasy and reality lie too far apart

So I stretch myself across, like a bridge
And I pull you to the edge
And stand there waiting
Trying to attain
The end to satisfy the story
Shall I release you?
Must I release you?
As I rise to meet my glory

But my big secret
Gonna hover over your life
Gonna keep you reaching
When I'm gone like yesterday
When I'm high like heaven
When I'm strong like music
'Cuz I'm slow like honey, and
Heavy with mood

Ladies Love Cool Lincoln...

And Lincoln loves the ladies.

With my suave demeanor, my natural charisma, my sexy good looks - they just can't control themselves.

It's okay, girls. I understand. Be patient, I'll get to you all in good time...

---

The initials are NH. I have a year to be ready.
Let's rock.

It's groundhog fucking day!

Fuck sleep, who needs it? Can more stuff happen to prevent me from writing here?
I don't know! HA HAAA!

* Burp * .... Woooo!

Thanks for sending me the new pics, Alka!