i'm all about experiencing life, whatever happens to be thrown my way. i want to feel it all. i want to feel it all again and again. all things, even the bad things, must be felt. i do not want to escape from the bad.
yet i wonder...i wonder...when will i get to feel the good? why are all the feelings bad or neutral? when will it be time to be okay with my life? when will it be time to experience something wonderful without dreading the bill?
i have forced myself to stretch recently, i have forced myself to be around people more often. i did it because i was dreadfully tired of being alone. but being around people isn't really any better. it's just different. and i'm still alone.
