oh wow does this feel really weird

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i would normally have passed out by now, but i'm still awake.

so i don't know really how i'm still awake or why but i am, and so i don't get to experience what this feels like most of the time since i pass out.

i will hold it together to tell you what i mean. about eight o'clock i started to take pills since i didn't feel good at all and i new something bad was coming. but it kept coming and i kept taking pills because i couldn't let it come i didn't want to miss or be late for work tomorrow. alot to do. so i kept taking pills.

i don't know how many i've had. i know i've had alot. wait let me think.

ok i think something like 25! that sounds crazy, and it is. 25 times 500 miligrams is (i just multiplied on the calculator) 12500 milligrams. i think i should be dead now. i'm not in pain! i may be drooling. i know i feel way drunk sort of, i keep mistyping and having to backspace alot. can't feel my fingertips but i'm looking at them. again, i don't know why i've not just fell over asleep, usually after 16 my body just shuts down and can't take any more. not tonight.

wow i feel weird. maybe i should stop typing. don't want to say anything stupid! that's my greatest fear of being drunk you know? not being in control, like now kind of. don't want to spill the beans on all my deep dark secrets and make myself look like a jackass. any more than usual, that is.

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