October 2005 Archives

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeen!

Did you ever hear the one about last year?
It was all a lie...
Ain't it funny how the time flies?

It's been a week since I've touched base here. Life in overdrive. Lately I've been plugged up into some intense power source...unwillingly I must say. Every aspect of Lincolnia has intensified. I've been called upon to exert massive efforts, and massive efforts are not my game.
I've had to extend my network to remain above water financially. I've had to rely on others to bail me out. Uncharted territory. The pressure from my day job is all but unbearable. I feel like the poor guy standing in front of the broken automatic tennis ball feeder with only my skillz and a racket. I'm swinging fronthand and backhand, running crosscourt, diving...but no matter how hard I try balls will get past me. My night job just plain sucks. It sucks that I have a night and weekend job, and the job itself sucks. But...as we all know...things must be accomplished. When trouble arises it is up to us to make the trouble go away.
As for my relationship? I stick my tongue out and say "Wouldn't you like to know?"

it's been a very long day. indeed it has. and it's not over yet. i give you only some tool lyrics.

A groan of tedium escapes me,
Startling the fearful.
Is this a test? It has to be,
Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience, drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.

But I'm still right here
Giving blood, keeping faith
And I'm still right here.

Wait it out,
Gonna wait it out,
Be patient (wait it out).

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen here
I certainly would've walked away by now.

And I still may ... (sigh) ... I still may.

Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this.

And if there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may.

Gonna wait it out.

Australia was like, "WTF????"

in and out of things, up and then down
struggle. it's an amazing struggle. testing me at every turn.
in the know. are you in the know? am i the know? has this turned around so far that it's now a loop? are we in the loop?

the thing is to try. to try and try and try. and if you fail and fail and fail, just shut it up and keep on trying. pulling my best cliche here, yep. but i've gotta tell ya - i never stop trying. i never give up.

Shakes and twitches. Confliptions. Radiating heat from within. Tightness. Every muscle constricted and taut, flexing at nothing. Teeth grit. Grind.
So much shit I cannot bear, I cannot stand, it will stand, man! Not like this, not like this, not like this, not like this, not like this, not like this, not like this, not like this. Fuck. Fuck. Pardon me while I burst...

A groan of tedium escapes me,
Startling the fearful.
Is this a test? It has to be,
Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience, drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.

But I'm still right here
Giving blood, keeping faith
And I'm still right here.

Wait it out,
Gonna wait it out,
Be patient (wait it out).

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen here
I certainly would've walked away by now.

And I still may ... (sigh) ... I still may.

Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this.

And if there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may.

Gonna wait it out

If you read this blog and enjoy my work, I ask you to consider making a donation. Even if you don't read this blog, but just happened to stumble upon this site...I ask you to consider making a donation. I've not ever solicited before and am a bit embarrassed to do so now. Yet, I find myself in quite a financial pinch and would highly appreciate anything anyone would be willing to offer.