August 2006 Archives

My books are sitting at the top of the stack now
The longer words are really breaking my back now
Maybe I'll learn to understand
Drawing a square with a pencil in hand

from day to day. from day to day to day to day to day to day to day.


today.

ok, so then what?

i am in possession of too much whelm.
whelm is below me.
yes, yes...i am overwhelmed.

my list of activities currentlly in process and activities that need to begin has reached an uncomfortable level. Aha - you say to take one at a time and not to focus on the gigantousness. Bah to you! Because when whelm is below you, you cannot see the single tasks. Your perspective, as it were, is too too skewed. Line of sight!

Be that as it may: the ring debacle is now finished, having finally opted for sapphires and diamonds purchased at a higher end store. Surgery has been scheduled. My sleep study has been conducted. Plans are in place for an easing of the financial burdens, as are plans to improve my abysmal credit score (divorces - yay!), and to place back into this money pit tens of thousands of dollars so that it may be sold POST HASTE. And, still in its infancy, are the processes included in finding new employment. So I should take comfort. Right?

Right??

NEVER!!!

daily battles. old.

results of sleep study: apnea. well...no shit. how many years now? why am i not dead?

give me the fucking face mask so i can sleep. it will be heaven. then maybe i will not feel like a shit-encrusted ass at all times. maybe i will have enough energy to do the things that i need to do to keep this incessant weight off. maybe then my wife will not be pissed at me every single day.

nah, she will.
but maybe the other stuff will get better.

Woke up this morning, it seemed to me
that every night turns out to be
a little bit more like bukowski
and yeah, i know he's a pretty good read but
god who'd want to be
god who'd want to be such an asshole
god who'd want to be
god who'd want to be such an asshole
well we sat on the edge of the river
the crowd screamed "sacrifice the liver"
if god takes life he's an indian giver
so tell me now why, you'll tell me never
who would want to be
who would want to be such a control freak
well who would want to be
who would want to be such a control freak
well see what you want to see
you should see it all
well take what you want from me
you deserve it all
nine times out of ten
our hearts just get dissolved
well i want a better place
or just a better way to fall
but one time out of ten
everything is perfect for us all
well i want a better place
or just a better way to fall
here we go
if god controls the land and disease
and keeps a watchful eye on me
if he's really so damn mighty
well my problem is i can't see
well who would want to be
who would want to be such a control freak
well who would want to be
who would want to be such a control freak
evil home stereo
what good songs do you know
evil me, oh yeah i know
what good curves can you throw
well all that icing and all that cake
i can't make it to your wedding but i'm sure i'll be at your wake
you were talk talk talk talking in circles that day
when you get to the point make sure that i'm still awake, okay
i went to bed and didn't see
why everyday turns out to be
a little bit more like bukowski
and yeah, i know he's a pretty good read
but god who'd want to be
god who'd want to be such an asshole