really. i struggle with this, as is obvious i guess. parts of me want to just give it up, and i hate those parts of me. i won't. give it up. this is mine, and even when i'm not writing it still reflects what's going on with me. i can't not be represented here. and as gloriously awful as this place is, as fully everything/nothing as it is, terribly passe and fibberjibbets, i will hang on.
something about just throwing my words out into the ether. but my words only come back to me. the fact that no one anywhere is listening is so apropos and perfect.
maybe i'll go turn on a CD and play the drum set I'll never have.
