at the end of my wits. i am seriously fucked up and fucked over and
i've done it all to myself. no, it did not feel good. i did not enjoy
it. i continue to be nonplussed when i look in the mirror. i am not a
happy guy. the state of the me is in disarray and i am totally
incompetent as to how to fix it. is this the bottom? i thought i'd
been there before, and maybe i was. maybe i only reached and grabbed a
small tree growing on the side of the mountain i'd climbed and that i
was now falling from...if so, the little fella was no match for my bulk
and its tiny limb has snapped and i am again in free fall. well, i am
no wile e. fucking coyote. no umbrella to pull out my ass now. no
"i'm fucked" sign to hold up to the camera. and i won't be getting up
walking away like an accordion from the impact crater.
