ebullient

A great number of things have occurred within my brain in a relatively short amount of time, and I am rather proud of the transitions that have occurred.

I remember who I was, even five years ago, and the change is dramatic.  I like myself much more now.

Four

The Little Blue Engine
by Shel Silverstein

The little blue engine looked up at the hill.
His light was weak, his whistle was shrill.
He was tired and small, and the hill was tall,
And his face blushed red as he softly said,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

So he started up with a chug and a strain,
And he puffed and pulled with might and main.
And slowly he climbed, a foot at a time,
And his engine coughed as he whispered soft,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”

With a squeak and a creak and a toot and a sigh,
With an extra hope and an extra try,
He would not stop — now he neared the top —
And strong and proud he cried out loud,
“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!”

He was almost there, when — CRASH! SMASH! BASH!
He slid down and mashed into engine hash
On the rocks below… which goes to show
If the track is tough and the hill is rough,
THINKING you can just ain’t enough!

Killing weeds quickly with this round up

Inexplicable.

In these four days of non-work:

Stacked a boatload (and not a dinghy) of wood.  Two boatloads left to stack.

Ripped up carpet in the boys’ room, put down new flooring, took out two old beds, put together new bunkbeds, hauled boxes and remnants to burn pile

Worked on a team Econ paper, have final exam left tomorrow and then this class is put to bed

Thanksgiving festivities at in-laws

8 loads of laundry – only 8!

Grocery shopping – twice

Cleaned upstairs not perfectly, but PDG

Some Christmas shopping

And…

Got a drum set.  A really nice drum set.  It’s sitting right in front of me now, I’m glancing up at it now.  How this can be true is beyond me.  Honestly, this is one of my premier life goals completed (two down, one to go).  This is something I have wanted to with every fiber of my being for at least 23 years.

And now that it is here, I feel nothing.  I can’t explain it.  WTF is wrong with me?

virtue and vice

This site…”The Egosystem” and its web address “egocentricity.net”…allude only to the fact that this is all about me…for whatever good or bad that brings.

This site, one could say, is “self-centered”…or rather, centered on self.

Yet, truth be told, I am the least selfish person I know.  Sometimes I find it, often I find it…absurd that those who know me do not notice all that I give.  More truth: the entire theme of my life so far has been my willingness to give to those I love.  And I give, as they say, until it hurts.

And then I give some more.