For twenty years, a grinder gnawed away at my brain. A grinder or a rodent, sometimes, others a hammer and chisel.
Twenty years, never a moment of calm, never a silence. No, you don't get used to it.
Or maybe I don't. Inept?
Oh, I tried, yes. Never able to master it, not even enough to think maybe, perhaps, wait...no, it's still there. Wily with new ways.
None of this sets me apart from you or qualifies me for a blue ribbon at the county fair. The additional knowledge that you, and everyone, owns some similarly hidden pain only acted as a second grinder or mouse inside my brain.
But yours is yours, it's a personal thing. I cannot speak to that. Mine is mine, and I aim to give you a window. I have learned a thing in this time, connections ease the pain. You don't have to feel mine yourself, but if I show it to you, if you see it, it eases both of us.
Twenty years, never a moment of calm, never a silence. No, you don't get used to it.
Or maybe I don't. Inept?
Oh, I tried, yes. Never able to master it, not even enough to think maybe, perhaps, wait...no, it's still there. Wily with new ways.
None of this sets me apart from you or qualifies me for a blue ribbon at the county fair. The additional knowledge that you, and everyone, owns some similarly hidden pain only acted as a second grinder or mouse inside my brain.
But yours is yours, it's a personal thing. I cannot speak to that. Mine is mine, and I aim to give you a window. I have learned a thing in this time, connections ease the pain. You don't have to feel mine yourself, but if I show it to you, if you see it, it eases both of us.
